2/7/10

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

Today, I read a story that was very powerful and touching.

A story of two sisters honoring their relationship and the love they have for one another. One sister vibrant, happy, and confident. Her sister  skeptical, sad, dealing with low self-esteem, and Depressed. A subject of poignant interest.              

This searing tale of unconditional love took me back to my childhood.

I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male DepressionI learned what Depression was at a very young age. I was 14 years old.

That's when I was forced to take the blinders off and look and this real condition that  no one in my family or community wanted to talk about. There was a stigma and shame being associated or related to someone who was mentally ill. The stigma still exist in society today.


Is it environment or genetics that causes Depression in Men and Women? I have found that it can be both.

An environment of stress, anxiety, and pain can cause a person predisposed with the symptoms of depression to be given a diagnosis of Depression later in life.

These facts are not from any specific medical research or journal of American medicine. It is from first hand experience.

My mother was diagnosed with Bio-polar Depression in 1977. She and her sister were given up for adoption by her biological mother then ostracized by her biological sister and her cousin (My Grannie whom I Loved) that raised her.

My oldest daughter was diagnosed with Bio-polar Depression twenty years after her Grandmothers diagnosis. She was born in Frankfurt Germany. During her Father and Mother's tour of duty overseas. Born pre-mature and developmentally delayed. We opted to have her medi-vacted to Walter Reid Army Medical Center in Washington, D.C.   At Walter Reid my daughter under-went surgery to unblock her bowls. The surgery was success and we all eventually return to Frankfurt.

In those days there was not much information on children with adult disorders. At 5 my daughter was diagnosed with ADHD (Attention Deficient with Hyper Activity.) The neurologist who diagnosed my daughter noticed  a book I was reading, Children with ADD and confirmed my questions.

Her diagnosis was a combination of medication given to her and myself during child birth and her own surgery.

Molested at 5 my daughter became extremely hyper active, not able to focus, and distracted.  This devastated me and I believe I sheltered her too much trying to absolve my own shame and quilt. How could this happen to my daughter?

Sexual Deviance, Second Edition: Theory, Assessment, and TreatmentPedophilia is one of the biggest unreported crimes in the USA.

Very Smart, my daughter indeed got good grades and made the Honor Roll in sixth and eight grade.

In High School she became very Depressed, sad, and felt no sense of self-worth. Therapy, expensive private schools, and frequent vacations did not stop the train from crashing.

My mother told me she see's a lot of herself in my daughter.

I do not brag or boast about myself but I do have a great sense of self, a positive attitude, (My Mom calls it your glass is always half full), and a willingness to be there for anyone that needs help.

I have a great relationship with my Mother. We talk all the time on the phone. I was her caregiver for 2 years. Part-time medical transport often taking her back and forth from Gary, Indiana to Northwestern Memorial Hospital for her monthly doctors visits I lived 20-35 minutes from the hospital.  My sister Pam is now taking her turn.
 
I ,over the years,  my have been too diligent in trying helping my daughter. However I never stop trying to reach out to my daughter. She wants to live life on her own terms. I love her dearly so I am taking care of my grand daughter. My grand daughter Rheta S. Named after her Great Grand mother Rheta S.

While I cannot speak for my 6 siblings relationships with our Mother. Since they all vary in mood and temperance in how they treat Mother. From 1st hand experience, their mood is often based on her diagnosis and not the person who loved and raised us.

Who am I to judge.

The Mystic Law expresses the relationship between the life inherent in the universe and the many different ways this life expresses itself.

Nam means devotion to the Mystic Law of the universe

Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo
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